Total spill of emotions

I know you guys are probably getting really tired of reading about how my husband is stuck in japan because his plane broke and so forth. Well just to warn you this is a post continuing this awful topic. I literally had the biggest melt down I have had yet, today. I have been so frustrated with the AF about this TDY for many many reason and I have shared them multiple times before. My husband was supposed to be back a week ago, but instead ended up getting stranded there and another crew from our base had to go on an emergency flight to japan to bring them the part they needed. WELL this lovely base we are stationed at is so organized at their job that they sent a crew out there that was SHORT the main person they needed to fix the plane, and even broke their plane even MORE! So my husband who was supposed to be home tomorrow after their plane got fix will no longer be coming home. He is still stuck out there and now has to wait for another crew to come back with the new parts they need and the people they need! He said that he possibly will be home next weekend, but I am not even going to think he is going to be. I have constantly been shut down every time when I think he is coming home. I am just now going to prepare for the worse. Which is more than likely going to happen. He will come home a couple of days before his deployment date and then leave me again for 2 and half months. I am trying to accept the fact that I am not going to get to see my husband at all this year, and it has just been a major slap in my face. I really do not like the fact that most boomers wives i know have spent over half their marriage away from each other. It is just so depressing. I really thought the AF was the right path for us, but the more we get into it the more I regret agreeing to commitment. I know that sounds horrible as a military wife to say that, and all you other wives are probably deleting me as a follower now, but I can not help to think that sometimes. I love everything else about the military, just not this. I am so supposed to be the wife that cooks and cleans for my children and husband every night, a wife that sleeps in the bed with her husband every night, and has a family to come home to when getting off work..... Well that is what I dream about, and a lot lately. I wonder if it is a sign? But I do know that I love what my husband does, and that I am more than proud of everything he has done and accomplished. He is a hero in my eyes and I would not change that. So with that said I do not think that I will ever get that dream I have been dreaming, but it should would be nice. There is nothing I would rather want, but for him to be happy and for us to have a happy family.  So I have come to realization that my life is not going to be normal like every bodies life back at home, but even better because I have an Airman that knows I will be waiting. waiting for that text, call, email, or arrival home. But with all this said, I did not realize how hard separation was going to be and how it would affect our relationship. Tonight the husband and I got into the biggest argument over nothing and I literally sat and soaked in my tears for about an hour. It was horrible and then I had to calm myself and talk it through with him. We both agreed that we can not let this get to us, but it is going to be really hard.

I want all of you to know that I am really thankful for everything my husband and your husbands/boyfriends/Fiance support for our country. It is amazing what they do for us and I wish everyone could see what all they do. Also not just the husband but the wives to. We are a group of strong ladies that many women wish they could be.


That is all for now. Thanks for everything. You guys are the best.