My name Is Michel, I am a full time student majoring in education, a full time wife to my airman, and a full time mother to our two fur babies for now! I am a southern girl at heart and proud of it. I enjoy just about any outdoor activities, and love basketball. Coffee is definitely my weakness, especially here in the North West. I adore my husband and our family. We miss them much but enjoy our life in the Air Force.

My Airman, a lovable, caring, sweet, car loving, hardheaded man! : ) but he is my world. He is a boom operator in the Air Force and so far he loves his job. When he isn’t working he is probably working on his car, or on the internet finding things for his car. He is crazy, but you just can’t ask for a better husband.

Highschool sweathearts, that stuck together trough it all and ended up falling head over heels for each other. Married on November 23, 2009 and loving our wild and crazy life as two southerners living in the Northwest!
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Saturday, January 22, 2011

Total spill of emotions

I know you guys are probably getting really tired of reading about how my husband is stuck in japan because his plane broke and so forth. Well just to warn you this is a post continuing this awful topic. I literally had the biggest melt down I have had yet, today. I have been so frustrated with the AF about this TDY for many many reason and I have shared them multiple times before. My husband was supposed to be back a week ago, but instead ended up getting stranded there and another crew from our base had to go on an emergency flight to japan to bring them the part they needed. WELL this lovely base we are stationed at is so organized at their job that they sent a crew out there that was SHORT the main person they needed to fix the plane, and even broke their plane even MORE! So my husband who was supposed to be home tomorrow after their plane got fix will no longer be coming home. He is still stuck out there and now has to wait for another crew to come back with the new parts they need and the people they need! He said that he possibly will be home next weekend, but I am not even going to think he is going to be. I have constantly been shut down every time when I think he is coming home. I am just now going to prepare for the worse. Which is more than likely going to happen. He will come home a couple of days before his deployment date and then leave me again for 2 and half months. I am trying to accept the fact that I am not going to get to see my husband at all this year, and it has just been a major slap in my face. I really do not like the fact that most boomers wives i know have spent over half their marriage away from each other. It is just so depressing. I really thought the AF was the right path for us, but the more we get into it the more I regret agreeing to commitment. I know that sounds horrible as a military wife to say that, and all you other wives are probably deleting me as a follower now, but I can not help to think that sometimes. I love everything else about the military, just not this. I am so supposed to be the wife that cooks and cleans for my children and husband every night, a wife that sleeps in the bed with her husband every night, and has a family to come home to when getting off work..... Well that is what I dream about, and a lot lately. I wonder if it is a sign? But I do know that I love what my husband does, and that I am more than proud of everything he has done and accomplished. He is a hero in my eyes and I would not change that. So with that said I do not think that I will ever get that dream I have been dreaming, but it should would be nice. There is nothing I would rather want, but for him to be happy and for us to have a happy family.  So I have come to realization that my life is not going to be normal like every bodies life back at home, but even better because I have an Airman that knows I will be waiting. waiting for that text, call, email, or arrival home. But with all this said, I did not realize how hard separation was going to be and how it would affect our relationship. Tonight the husband and I got into the biggest argument over nothing and I literally sat and soaked in my tears for about an hour. It was horrible and then I had to calm myself and talk it through with him. We both agreed that we can not let this get to us, but it is going to be really hard.

I want all of you to know that I am really thankful for everything my husband and your husbands/boyfriends/Fiance support for our country. It is amazing what they do for us and I wish everyone could see what all they do. Also not just the husband but the wives to. We are a group of strong ladies that many women wish they could be.


That is all for now. Thanks for everything. You guys are the best.


10 comments:

  1. We all have our moments, our good days and our bad days. Any kind of separation (training, TDY, Hardship Tour, Deployment) is hard whether it be for a week, a month, a year, or longer. We are a part of a sister hood that we help each other through times like these. Just letting you know I am not going anywhere I really enjoy your posts. Keep your head up lady, you can do this.

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  2. You know...don't apologize for writing what you want and saying what you need to. If someone deletes you, so be it. Sometimes I think it is annoying when people expect you to be all sunshine and butterflies and bow down to the military no matter what. You are allowed to cry and be irritated. The military does crazy annoying things! If you complain and get it out of your system, you are less likely to have pent up aggression so good for you! If someone was to delete you for being real, well they can get off of their high horse!

    Keep your head up. I think deployment will be easier because you know he has to be gone vs the games of this TDY.

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  3. Exactly, don't be hard on yourself! It's much better to get the tears and emotions out then keep them bottled up inside.
    It's funny how the very person we are missing and love the most is the one we sometimes take our anger (at the situation) out on. I've done that many a time.
    Just keep your heart focused on the times you will be together and trust in the Lord!!
    And keep yourself busy with friends and family! =)

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  4. Delete you for being real? Please! What military wife hasn't thought the exact same things you are thinking? Or felt the way you're feeling? I know I have and any wife who says they are haven't is not being honest. Even us "old pros" at deployments get like that. And always vent - it will help you keep from taking it out on your husband (which by the way - I still do sometimes too and we've been married for almost 15 years). It's ok to be a human. Military wives are not robots!

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  5. it will be ok Michel(: head up dear<3

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  6. It's always hard when they have to go away, and as much as it sucks, that's what we have to deal with. TDY are not fun, especially when that happens. I can't give you any advice on the deployment, since we won't be going through one for awhile. Keep your head up and everything will be ok!

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  7. Girl, it's your blog, your allowed to pour out your feelings.

    I hope your husband comes home soon.

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  8. I hope your husband gets to come home soon. *hugs* As for being a military wife, I sometimes wonder if I'm really cut out for it. I love lots of things, but there are things I don't particularly want to deal with too. It's a hard life for anyone and I think we all wish it wasn't.

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  9. I seen a video on youtube and the guy said at least you are coming second due to military duty, and not coming second to call of duty:)
    Cheer up, it will be okay.
    & if you read my newest post, you will see that I am coming second to a video game. My hubby is about to deploy and won't spend any time with me at all, I don't know if he is distancing himself so goodbye won't be as hard, but I am getting fed up with it.

    The military life is hard and I am only a part-timer, my hubby is in the OK Guard. You will be just fine, and when y'all are together again, you will forget about all the bad stuff.

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  10. I'm sorry; that totally sucks that he is still stuck there! I hope things work out and he gets home soon.

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