It is that time. Study Study Study... I am trying to study for exams but my mind just wonders all over the place. The hubs is flying tonight and I have not seen him all day. I woke up and went to work, and come to find out that the 2 hours bus delay we thought we had turned into NO SCHOOL again! So I was there all day again. When I got off the hubs was already gone and doing pre flight. So as I sit here alone I can not help but to think about it. that is right the big D that all of us military spouse absolutely hate. Ours is right around the corner and coming o so fast. Because of OSPEC I am not sharing the date, but you guys will definitely know when it happens. I can not help to think about it especially tonight as I sit here alone. I have to admit I am so scared about it. I have seen multiple military spouses go through hard times while their significant other was deployed and they both ended in divorce. You guys may think I am some over whelming controlling freak when I say this, but hey this is my blog right? : ) But I just hate the fact that my husband is going to be in a country I will never know anything about, what it looks like, what kind of people are there, and what there is to do, ETC. I really really hate not knowing what the hubs is doing. It is not that I do not trust him, but we have gone through hard times before to make me want to know all this. I am not looking forward to not knowing if he is going to a bar, who he is hanging out with. I know sounds crazy but it just drives me crazy! I already know that there is a major time difference where he is going and when it is my bed time here he will be just waking up. So I might be pulling all nighters : )
Also another thing. With his job once his deployments start the never stop. hence he is gone for a shorter period of time, but when he comes home he is only here for that same amount of time and gone again. Also while he is home he could possibly be put on TDY!! So that means half of our marriage is going to be damn deployments. I wish there was a way around these stupid things.
My biggest fear, minus the whole divorce thing, is that we will get pregnant one day (which is not now) and that he will not be here for the birth. How horrible would that be?
Gees there are just so many problems with this whole situation. But on to a brighter note. today at work, the kids and I went outside to play in the snow. We made tons and tons of snowmen so I have some pics to share.
2 months ago